Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
