yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize