i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
