i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
