He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I think I just sharted jello shots
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