I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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