she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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