Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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