Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
