And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
