Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
