just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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