I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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