Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
