every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
