a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
