It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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