Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
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