He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
