hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
