Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
