you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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