like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You don't make any sense
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