like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
