look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
