its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
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I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
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You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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