You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
