I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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