And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
