dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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