maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
