dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I can text with my tongue
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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