This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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