I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
