Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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