Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
