her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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