youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
