Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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