You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
