So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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