Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
