Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
