there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
