Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
