We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
