He kissed a someone with a penis
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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