Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
A+ Viking dick
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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