I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
