Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
