I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
time to smoke my breakfast
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
