...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
