i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
