don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
