so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
