I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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