the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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