there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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