the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize