why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
