Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
