wakey wakey hands off snakey
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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