i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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