my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
